Getting Kicked Out of My House By Strangers, Sort Of

Lately, I’ve become an expert at finding “things to do” for short bursts of time. This isn’t by choice. It’s not like I was going around looking for a hobby or anything. But somehow my work-from-home, build-my-own-schedule lifestyle has been co-opted by a bunch of would-be homebuyers.

Yeah, yeah, I know I’m the one who put my house on the market (well, my DH and myself). And I should be thrilled by all the traffic. The economy is slow! The housing market is tough! And that’s true. I get it, I do. But after three weeks, it feels like half the tri-state area has traipsed through our place in their black scuff-inducing dress shoes (nine showings this weekend alone). And every time one of these homebuyers wants to take a peek, I have to hit the road. Sometimes three times in one day.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Why don’t you just leave for the whole day?” Well, it’s not so easy on a work day. It’s not like I’ve got an office to go to. And there’s only so much coffee one can consume.

So I’ve decided to compile a list of the places I’ve gone during work days when kicked out of my house for the sake of real estate. Here goes:

My Things To Do When I Can’t Go Home

1. Starbucks -vs- Philly Java. I refuse to let myself purchase more than one coffee in a single day. Surprisingly, Starbucks is cheaper than the local joint. However, Philly Java has free Internet access. It’s a toss up, but they’ve both made enough money from me in the last couple weeks to warrant me a Christmas card come the holiday season.

2. The gym. Seems like a logical choice. I go there anyway, why not time my workouts to home showings? Great in theory, and it works sometimes. But on days when you have two consecutive showings that go ridiculously long, even I can struggle to fill an hour and forty-five-minutes of workout festivities.

3. CVS. I’m ashamed to admit it, but yes, I will plant myself in their magazine aisle like it’s the free library and read the mags until my house is clear. I’ve never been so updated on celebrity gossip (what’s up with Letterman?).

4. Read outside. Great for daytime showings.

5. A walk. I always heard of people “going for walks” to “clear their heads.” But I find it’s kinda lonely to walk around the city aimlessly with no destination. Not a fan.

6. Hairdresser.
I only go once every three months, but hey for that one time, it was nice to have a concrete plan.

7. Book store. The one by my house is crazy tiny, but there’s no time limit on how long I can peruse their YA shelves. I’ve become a squatter.

So that’s it. The new interrupted daily schedule of a stay-at-home writer. And that doesn’t even include weekend activities—though this weekend we’ll be at the Eagles game during an open house. Whoo hoo! Now that’s quality time suckage.

I think the world, collectively, needs to stop caring about this marriage. First, I can’t stand to see Kate’s haircut on one more magazine cover (you know it’s gonna be the hot Halloween costume). Second, Jon’s love life is just sad. These twits are dating him to get in the headlines, and the news keeps reporting on them thus perpetuating the problem. We need to break the cycle! We got Octomom out of the news (relatively), so let’s dump the Gosslins, folks. It’s time for America to divorce them.

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