I Feel A Sudden Need To Misuse Punctuation!?!!

In honor of National Punctuation Day (yes, it’s really a day and I was surprised too), I’d like to delve into the punctuation pitfalls that irk me most. Don’t worry!!! i wont go, crazy w/over-used inc’rrect punctuation; just to make my “point” so: let Me “get it” all/out NOW!!!??

Okay, that’s over. Whew. So let me dedicate the rest of this blog to the two most annoying punctuation offenders: the misused “quotation” marks and the overused exclamation point!!

You know what I’m talking about. Our world seems plagued with people who don’t understand that quotes are either used to indicate dialogue, the title of an artistic work, or (most importantly in regards to this blog) to indicate irony or sarcasm. If you want to emphasize a word, italicize it. Otherwise, you get some very funny interpretations. And thankfully, there are some blogs out there to show us all how unintentionally funny some of these misused quotes can be.

So from the “blog” of “unnecessary” quotation marks, we have:

I don’t know about you, but I read that as kinda dirty. What type of “tips” are they looking for? It seems like a sign that should be in a strip club.

Now this can be read a variety of ways, but my first reaction was that the sign belonged outside Area 51. Or maybe a prison. You know, anyplace where you wouldn’t want to disturb the “neighbors.”

And from Flicker’s “Quotation mark” abuse pool, we have:

Be careful, I think that sign may lead to open elevator shaft.

That’s just openly dirty. Is anyone else picturing a “massage” parlor, or do I have my mind in the gutter?

Now, for the exclamation mark abuse. You’ve all seen it— those emails from friends or coworkers that seem to have multiple exclamation points at the end of every sentence.

“Lunch in the conference room!!”
“I can’t wait for the weekend!!!!”
“OMG!!!! She said what????!!!!!”

These emails hurt my eyes. They’re almost worse than CAPS lock (which I didn’t mention in this blog because it’s a grammar misuse not specifically related to punctuation. But don’t worry, I hate CAPS just as much).

Why must you shout at me from your computer? One exclamation point is enough. And please use sparingly. If it’s a legitimate question, no need to add the extra exclamation point at the end. The simple question mark works fine. That’s its job.

Really, stop doing it. Or next year, I’ll have to repeat this whole lesson and won’t be able to get into how people think they know how to use semi colons, but really don’t.

I know I may gain a few enemies with this post, but can I just say to radio broadcasters everywhere that I get it. You like Kings of Leon. You like the band so much that in a ten-minute drive I hear their song played at least three times on every station from Rap to Easy Listening. I mean the band’s okay in a better-than-Nickelback kinda way, but does it really need to be in rotation every half hour? And don’t even get me started on the fact that I listened to their entire CD at the hairdresser’s and I couldn’t determine when one song ended and another began. So to Kings of Leon: congrats, you have been beaten into my brain. Now can we go back to beating that Taylor Swift song to death? Anything else, please.

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One comment on “I Feel A Sudden Need To Misuse Punctuation!?!!
  1. Mrs. V says:

    I am rolling with laughter. You will get a kick out of the fact that as I started reading the post I thought it would be fun to share with my middle schoolers, and then I kept reading…

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