DIANA RODRIGUEZ WALLACH

So in the 48 days I’ve been living with “Those Who Will House Me ‘Til Then,” I’ve noticed some odd things. Not about my hosts, who are lovely, but about the world of picket fences and snow shoveling. You know, I’m a city girl. At least I have been since I moved out of my parents’ house. So I thought I’d compile a list of how different it is to live in a community without police sirens and stores within walking distance.

So without further ado, I’d like to introduce you all to my:

List of Curious Observations About Living in Suburbia

1. The gym here doesn’t provide towels. Really? You can’t throw some cheap white hand towels in the wash each day?

2. People shop at Target. A lot.

3. When you’re at the grocery store only buying a can of pumpkin, corn bread, and heavy cream, at least three people will stop and ask you what you’re making. Many more cooks in this world.

4. You can’t walk anywhere. Even the end of the driveway seems far.

5. Starbucks not providing free Internet access is much more annoying here because your alternative options are very limited.

6. My cat thinks deer are awesome.

7. There are stores in the local mall (Bakers?) that I was certain went out of business in the late ‘80s.

8. There’s more snow to shovel. Though oddly, the streets seem to get plowed faster than they ever did in Philadelphia (I’m talking to you, Mayor Nutter).

9. It’s much harder to find yoga.

10. There is no need for an alarm clock because woodpeckers will wake you every day at 7 a.m. They are evil little birds.

11. Food prices seem insanely low. I don’t even want to tell you what I was paying for an apple in the city.

12. A girl who once hated to drive has now found herself blowing through town in an enormous flat-bed truck. People change, folks!

So there you have it. My current list of odd observations, which I’m sure will grow in the months ahead while I wait for that construction crew to hurry up and put my drywall in already. Though before I move, I will create a bucket list of “Things I Must Do Before Leaving the Suburbs.” Maybe you all can help me get started. Any suggestions? And before you ask, yes, “Eating at the Olive Garden” is already on it.

POP CULTURE RANT: Comcast & Verizon
This isn’t a rant so much as helpful hint since I’m on the topic of curious observations. Did you know that if you call Comcast to complain about your cable, they’ll give you free stuff? No joke. My DH just finagled 6 months of free HBO and Showtime. Let’s repeat: FREE. And then he called Verizon and got the phone bill of “Those Who Will House Me ‘Til Then” lowered by more than $20/month. Though I will admit my DH is very patient and lives by the Power of Nice, something I find hard to do when talking to customer service reps.