DIANA RODRIGUEZ WALLACH

There are lots of things writers do to try to promote their books. They send press releases, try to get blurbs from other authors, do interviews, write blogs, tweet. And all these methods work, relatively. But sometimes, you just got to think bigger.

This is why I’m launching Phase I of my “Campaign To Get On The Colbert Report.”

You may be thinking, “Why Colbert?” I’ll tell you why.

A) He’s awesome.
B) His infamous “Colbert Bump” has gotten politicians elected and has sent artists soaring to No. 1.
C) He invented the word “Truthiness.” And,
D) I named a character in my young adult series after Stephen Colbert.

Those who DVR the show know that Mr. Colbert is a huge fan of having international icons named after him—like Hungarian bridges, ice cream flavors, little league hockey mascots, sea turtles, spiders, NASA treadmills, and bald eagles. So when I was creating the Amor and Summer Secrets series, as a fan of the show, I thought it would be fun to join in the crusade. If you’ve read my books, you may have noticed the name but may not have put the connection together.

You see, I spent much time warring with who would be the perfect character to represent his essence, and after much debate, I ultimately decided on a strict, French, long-legged ballet instructor. Oh yes, “Madam Colbert.”

Madam Colbert is first mentioned on Page 12 of series’ debut, Amor and Summer Secrets. But she serves a much more vital role in the final book in the series, Adios to All The Drama, where she readies our main character, Mariana Ruiz, for the lead in their community performance of Sleeping Beauty.

Now, you may be thinking, “But Diana, Adios came out in January. Why are you just now starting this campaign?”

Well, truthfully, it was just a little private joke that I put in my book with no thought of ever bringing the name’s origin to light. Honestly, most of my characters’ last names are connected to some sort of private joke—I mean, come on, Bobby McNabb, anyone? I live in Philadelphia! And in Amigas and School Scandals during Mariana’s birthday party, I even sit McNabb at table Five. Get it, sports fans?

Anyway, I never really thought to bring the name to Donovan McNabb’s attention any more than I thought to bring it to Stephen Colbert’s. But then I started stressing about my WIP, I mean really stressing—like get the padded cell ready and call the men in white coats stressing. And all of the sudden, lots of things seemed like a good idea. Like contacting Stephen Colbert and trying to get myself on his show.

So as of today, there is a package in the mail addressed to Mr. Colbert with a very nice (and rather witty, if I do say so myself) letter, a cheeky bio, an author photo, and a signed copy of Adios to All The Drama with a bookmark inserted to a page where “Madam Colbert” figures prominently.

But don’t think that’s all I’m doing! Stay tuned for Phase II of the “Campaign To Get On The Colbert Report.” It will be forthcoming.

And it may take time, folks, but I’m telling you I will get Colbert’s attention. Just wait and see. The guy’s gonna be bigger than Oprah. All he needs now is a book club.

POP CULTURE RANT: Boom! Boom! Pow!

Was anyone else as surprised as I was to find out that the lyric Fergie is singing in The Black Eyed Pea’s hit “Boom! Boom! Pow!” is that she’s “So 3008, you’re so 2000 and late”? I had no idea. I always thought she was saying “2008,” since it makes more sense. But no, Google the lyrics and see. And I’m not just suggesting that to justify why it says 3008 in my headline (ahem, but it’s right).