Just got back from a lovely destination wedding. I’ve only got two more nuptials in the next four weeks and then my reign as the country’s No. 1 Wedding Guest will come to a close. Let me know if you’d like me to pass the crown onto you.

That said, I must note that the wedding festivities keep getting snazzier as we get older. This past wedding was held in Maine. The ceremony was located on a cliff-side patio overlooking the ocean (and they served wine during the ceremony!). And the reception not only had breathtaking views, but they also had an ‘80s band. You can’t go wrong with “Pour Some Sugar on Me” as an encore song.

Of course, I didn’t leave New England before stopping at a bookstore to sign some stock. So if you’re in the neighborhood of the Portsmouth, NH Barnes & Noble, swing by and get your signed copy of “Amor and Summer Secrets.”

I’ve been trying my hardest not the think too much about sales because 1) my novel’s only been out a week, 2) I have no way of accessing that information, and 3) the thought only succeeds in raising my anxiety levels. Though that doesn’t seem to stop people from asking (again and again) how my sales are going. People began asking me that question the day after the book came out—seriously.

My husband says this is the natural progression of the publishing process, and people merely want to show their interest in my career. I, however, think the question isn’t much different from asking someone what their salary is, how much commission they made last quarter, and how they compare for a promotion against their coworkers.

But okay, okay, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately though, there really is only one way to satisfy their question, and it involves using a very volatile, arbitrary and seemingly unreliable website. That, of course, is Amazon.

Now from my understanding, Amazon only ranks books according to the sales made on its website. What the mathematical equation is for this ranking—I have no idea. Because the numbers are unbelievably inconsistent—rankings can swing more than 100,000 rungs on the ladder in a matter of 24 hours. This seems hardly logical or scientific.

But if you really want to know, I’m happy to report that yesterday was the first time “Amor and Summer Secrets” made it to the 5-digit rankings (somewhere around #86,000). Though today it was back up to the 100,000s again. And a few days ago it was close to one million. So, I don’t put much stock in it.

However, I am happy to report that Amazon has a bazillion little micro-lists and one of them ranks “Amor” as No.18 in the “The bestselling new & future releases in Children’s Multicultural Stories.”

And it’s No. 6 in the “The bestselling new & future releases in Children’s Hispanic & Latino.” This list places me four steps higher than Dora the Explorer!

So take that, Dora y la Princesa de la Nieve! You’re going down!

I’m kidding. Though not about how ridiculous these lists are. (By the way, these rankings change hourly, so depending on when you’re reading this blog, the lists could be completely different.)

Point is, I have no idea how my sales figures are doing, and I probably won’t know for months. Instead, I’m trying to focus on the fact that my book is finally in stores (yay!), and this long difficult process has finally reached its climax, and I’m officially a published author!

Plus, I have more books coming out in the next couple months. I know I promised you guys a contest, and I didn’t forget. I plan to have it up on Wednesday (I got a little behind with the wedding and all). Check back for your chance to win a free copy of “Amor and Summer Secrets” and some fun book swag!

POP-CULTURE RANT: DVR

We interrupt this pop culture rant to give you some Eagles Post Game Coverage! For those of you who don’t know, I’m a crazy Eagles fan. I love football—it may be a holdover from my cheerleading days. That said, the Eagles CRUSHED the St. Louis Rams yesterday 38-3. Donovan was back and looking healthier than ever, the rookies were unstoppable, and the defense almost got a shut out. Great game, right? Well, I wouldn’t know because my DVR decided to flip out sometime while I was away. It recorded nothing. Not one touchdown, not one play. If ABC can show recasts of Desperate Housewives online a few hours after they’ve aired, why can’t the NFL figure out a way to replay games we’ve missed on its website? Somebody has to be working on that, right?