DIANA RODRIGUEZ WALLACH

Seriously, we should have filmed this past weekend. It would’ve gotten more hits on YouTube than any cat playing piano. Because when you get a bunch of 30ish women together for two nights without the hubbies, reuniting down the shore at the scene where we spent a summer together after we graduated high school, antics will ensue. We talked so much my throat hurts.

So, after my weekend with the ladies, I realized I’d come away a wiser person, and I thought I’d dispense some of that wisdom onto you. Here it is:

Top Ten Things I Learned On My Girls’ Weekend

1. Lemonade goes very well with blueberry vodka. Not so much with coffee.

2. Pregnant ladies can hang until 3am.

3. Celebrity is the greatest game ever. And it goes to show, all you need is a sheet of paper and a couple pens and you too can be Milton Bradley.

4. iPod playlists can make the night, especially if they include Biz Markie.

5. You can never eat too much Sweedish fish.

6. By 3am women will delve into conversation topics that could make strong men beg for mercy.

7. If you leave your husband to handle your first open house alone, you may receive a frantic phone call about your wild-eyed hissing cat scaring the potential buyers in a manner worthy of Pet Cemetery.

8. A fully grown person can fit comfortably into a toddler car seat.

9. You may want to consider who is looking at your pictures online, because they may unintentionally provide hours of entertainment.

10. Having close friends who’ve known you since you were a silly teenager is awesome. They’re not only way fun, but in some ways, I think we all helped shape each other into the intelligent women we are now. Plus, we knew what we all looked like during our awkward stages, and you can’t get more bonded than spiral perms and Sun-In highlights.

POP CULTURE RANTS: Philadelphia Eagles
This is my first Monday-morning quarterback rant of ’09, and it’s nice to start off on a high note! The Eagles crushed the Carolina Panthers in what felt like a million-to-zip beat down with about a thousand interceptions, which unfortunately led to McNabb breaking a rib for a touchdown we didn’t really need. Don’t get me wrong, teams can come back, the game’s not over ‘til it’s over, yadda yadda. But if you’re winning by a million points, I don’t think a QB needs to be diving into opposing players for the score (even if it was a late hit). Take the slide. Take the win. Heal quickly.